I was recently reading a facebook conversation in which a woman felt very comfortable posting her art for the group of strangers to see, but wouldn’t dream of displaying that same art in her home where people who know and like her would see it. This seems absurdly counterintuitive, but a bet a lot of us can relate to it.
In this digital age, my little artistic contributions are just one more image in an ocean of images. I can toss it out and pretend it doesn’t really matter, that I’m not invested in it, that it’s just “an experiment”. If I hang it on my wall, it sends a message that I value my own work and take it seriously. Heaven knows we wouldn’t want THAT to happen.
The only person from my “real life” who knows I’m blogging is my husband, and it took me almost a month to show him. What am I afraid of? I have such a non-judgmental group of family and friends, they would certainly be kind and supportive. I think I’m afraid of putting people on the spot, because they will feel obligated to say something nice even if they secretly think my work is crap. I won’t trust their praise, even if they genuinely like my work. It’s like having your mother tell you that you’re pretty. Of course she’s going to say that. She HAS to say that.
There is something really warped about this thinking, so I take baby steps away from it. I framed some of my work and hung it in my studio (where no but the family can see it). I sent an original post card to a dear friend. I submitted a collage for possible publication and told both my husband AND my mom about it.
And I’m thinking of turning this most recent index card into a t-shirt.