Friday, November 15, 2013

Friday night is killing me

You know your life is good when the toughest decision of your day is whether to spend your evening making art or knitting.

I can get totally overwhelmed by the number of projects I want to work on, and get downright anxious about using my time efficiently.
This usually takes the form of wandering aimlessly around the house, picking stuff up and putting it down, and compulsively checking my email every five minutes.
I want to make sure the thing I choose is the best use of my time - the most fun, the most fulfilling, the most important.  
The need to choose the "right" thing keeps me from choosing anything.
I can waste hours trying to not waste my time.

Seriously, K?
Get over yourself.
There is no wrong answer to this question.
Pick up something.
anything.
take a deep breath.
start doing it and shut up.


Part of it is Christmas.
I've got a million ideas of gifts I want to make.
Where should I start?
Maybe I should try to sell stuff this year?
Why didn't I start last January?

and there's all the mail I need to answer.
 postcards and letters have been piling up, unanswered, since August.

and I'm weeks behind in my journal.
I need to glue/write/draw before I forget what happened.

and let's not forget that idea for a series of paintings.
I don't spend enough time on "serious" art.  I need to put a stop to all this other frivolity and immerse myself in it.
or maybe I need to spend an hour reflecting on the reasons I don't take my art seriously...

But then again, I could walk away from the art room and knit.
Every year when it gets dark and cold the knitting bug bites me.
I've got bags of yarn and dozens of bookmarked patterns and 138 more episodes of The West Wing on Netflix.

So many possibilities, and an evening free of commitments,
and yet here it is 10PM and I've got nothing to show for my night.

I've decided to forgive myself.
After all,  there was.....
 chocolate, and wine
an early birthday present and a phone call with my sister
the sound of Max laughing with a friend
fuzz therapy from Jake
scanning 33 bird postcards for the current MMSA swap
library books (full of knitting patterns!) to peruse
songs for singing out loud
the anticipation and planning of an art date tomorrow
AND
a ridiculous blog post.


Lest I leave you without any pictures,
there was also this collage from the other day, finally dry and ready to be trimmed:

 
Nothing to complain about.
All is right with the world.

16 comments:

  1. Oh yes, I love this post.

    I can so relate.

    While doing the household chores I daydream about all he artwork I'm going to do when I get some 'me' time - and when I get that 'me' time I dither, procrastinate and, as often as not, end up playing with the guinea pigs (while drinking wine and eating chocolate).

    Which is still not a bad way to spend an evening :)

    xx

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  2. So it's not just me? I'm on the computer even though I promised myself I would create some art and CLEAN so Marissa has a place to play here tomorrow. I can guarantee that I will wander around looking at the piles and thinking about what I need to do for at least a few hours. Next thing you know, the couch will call me for a nap...

    Don't beat yourself up. You're awesome! The collage came out great.

    At least you got a blog post done....I can't even manage that! :P

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  3. Oh my gosh, yes, I can relate. Blocks of free time are so rare here still (difference in our kids' ages, is all). When I have much I want to accomplish, I usually make a list, so when I do have that time, even a tiny bit of time, I can pick something off it and get going.

    But sometimes I just want to sit with a book and "waste" hours reading. That works too. :)

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  4. By the way...that swap I owe you will probably be late....:P

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  5. Hey, wait - when did you climb into my brain? I could have written this myself, word for word, thought for thought! From the comments, we all fight this syndrome now and then....maybe it's the curse of the creative?

    So here I am, all day Saturday free, a hundred creative plans spinning in my brain, and what am I doing? Checking blogs and watching a silly old movie on TV. Enough, enough I say! TV off, computer off, and up to the art room I dash! :) Thanks Karen for articulating what many of us struggle with -ha!

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  6. I know what you mean about, for example, the pressing need to cut one's nails or tidy the cutlery drawer, simple because there are so many projects to be started or continued all at once. Still, life is never boring that way.
    Love the organic-looking collage. Thank you for that wonderful comment from you - and so much appreciated when you are bounding through life at the speed of light. XX

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  7. I do the same thing, to many ideas, which of none get done, then I get more ideas, and they don't get done, then I check my computer, and don't get down to the art room, I should be making postcards, but here I am on the net. I know how to waste time

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  8. Ditto to you Karen and x7 or 8 comments listed so far! My sister comes Monday and I've half sorted/folded laundry for days, got one piece of mail art done, fiddle-faddled around with everything and gotten very little done. TIme to get to bed early & start running early tomorrow w/everything I've waited to do until the last minute. Oh, and my washer has decided to only half-work all of a sudden...& technicican is available After my sister leaves...Yippee! Full Moon? Leading into our Sagittarian time? Jealous of your knitting ,,,,:D. XO

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  9. I can so relate to exactly what you are saying. Cut yourself some slack, enjoy the chocolate, enjoy the wine and stuff the guilt. xox

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  10. Oh my! I love your knack of hitting just the right note that prevents the panic, that comes from too much and too many and messy house and laundry and shopping and working and cooking and...there you are to tell me I am not alone and it's okay to just sit there and drink the wine and eat the chocolate...and just enjoy the beautiful chaos.

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  11. I think LOTS of us have nights like those. Sometimes it's just so darn hard to sit myself down and DO something. It sounds like you found a perfectly reasonable way to spend the evening!

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  12. I so do this too! I love how you manage to put things into words- you're hilarious. I try to blame it on ADD...but here I am on the internet instead of making Christmas gifts! Love the post!

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  13. Okay, my soul sister, I related to every word you said! That is so exactly how I feel, but I've never heard it put so perfectly!

    And that collage, I really love it! It seems to have so much texture, and that squiggly line somehow just adds so much.

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  14. K--Oh yeah...been there, done that (or didn't do that)....let's open some Zin.....

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  15. Oh goodness!! This is so me...wasting hours trying not to waste my time and paralyzed with anxiety. My kids finally went back to school after 18 days of winter break yet here I sit...I check blogs instead of email.

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