Guess What?
(don't you dare say chicken butt)
I've got an article in the brand new issue of Daisy Yellow's Zine!
Not only that, but I've got two copies to give away!
Yup, you heard that right.
TWO copies of a 15 page, full-color, completely wonderful art zine.
and I'm not the only awesome contributor.
I'm in the excellent company of TJ Goerlitz, Quinn McDonald, Jeannine Peregrine and Silky Hart.
not to mention Ms. Daisy Yellow herself, Tammy Garcia.
The zine is full of inspiration and journal prompts and glorious images.
And you can win one right here.
All you have to do is leave a comment.
Did you already buy this wonderful zine? Tammy is so awesome, she will refund your money if you win one. My co-contributors are also giving away copies on their blogs, so you should follow this link to learn more about issue #5 and then click through to the other fabulous blogs in this giveaway extravaganza.
To add to the excitement, I'm giving away copies of three original zines, created by yours truly.
A mini-zine about making gelatin prints:
A 40 page documentation of last summer's
"30 new things" challenge:
And this brand-new, the-glue-is-still-wet, autobiographical mini zine:
Two grand prize winners get all 4 zines.
Leave me a comment with your name and email address (so Tammy knows where to send the zine).
If you ALSO tell me a joke, (and didn't win the grand prize) you will be entered into the runner-up drawing for one of my zines.
I will announce winners Monday June 18th.
How cool is that?
I love the zines and love your blog and I'd love to win! :-)
ReplyDeletedebbie@debbieosborn.co.uk
That is so generous of you! Thanks for the opportunity!
ReplyDeletetheminority97@yahoo.com
Also... a joke. Why did the gum cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken's foot! Ba - ding - CRASH! I created that joke. When I was probably about four years old. Yeah...
I bought Tammy's zines (all of them!), they're BRILLIANT! I'd love to win yours too (I did a gelatin print ICAD today, what a coincidence!).
ReplyDeleteMan: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together man!
Jo Urbani
theurbanis@blueyonder.co.uk
whoo hooo!! taraegon at yahoo dot com
ReplyDeleteI have no jokes :(
Totally cool, chicken butt???? You are too much. Shut Uh! Enter me baby, do. xox
ReplyDeleteChicken butt?! How exciting.
ReplyDeleteI have 2 jokes, courtesy of Master 8 and I couldn't decide so you are inflicted with both!
What is the name of the world's first underwater spy?
James Pond
I laughed for a ridiculously long time!
And his second gem, which is as funny for the fact that he doesn't fully get it...
Why can't a moth close his legs?
Have you seen the size of moth balls?
And yay for you. Very exciting.
I just found your blog from the links at daisy yellow for the ICAD2 challenge and I just loved reading the process you went through to create your black and white themed cards, very cool. And I really like your use of film slides in the accordion book, very lovely.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing this draw for the zones, very generous! My email is kumachylde@yahoo.ca
Jokes I found for this comment:
What did the artist say to the dentist? --Matisse hurt!
Why was the art dealer in debt? -- He didn't have any Monet!
Thanks! Serena/|\
painfully wonderful.
DeleteMatisse hurt.
omg.
I have to remember that one.
Woohoo! Hmm a joke...
ReplyDeleteA world famous painter started losing her eyesight in the prime of her career.
After several surgeries and weeks of therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter decided to show her gratitude to her surgeon by painting a mural with pairs of eyes in every shade and shape in his office.
When she finished, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art. One reporter asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office?"
"Thank God I'm not a proctologist."
I almost spit out my wine.
DeleteChicken Butt! Bwahahaha!!!
ReplyDelete(Oh no! I hope that doesn't ruin my chances of winning!)
Please let the Giveaway Gods smile down on me today...
I would love, love, LOVE to win these zines!!!
(ALL of them, yup - I said it, ALL of them... greedy, greedy me! Wahooooo!)
xo
Kristin
p.s. I will reluctantly leave a joke (please don't view it as a sign of giving up... I still plan on being one of the GRAND prize winners! LOL) But, I will leave a joke anyway (Because I REALLY love jokes... A lot!)
Since we were talking about chicken butts, how 'bout a chicken joke?
Q: What do alien chickens lay?
A: Egg-straterrestrials!
Egg-cellent, right?
Okay, since I'm feeling egg-stra silly, here's one more...
Q: What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
A: Poultry in Motion!
Ooh - that was rotten I know... I can't help it, I crack myself up!
(I'll stop now. Hee hee)
keep 'em coming Kristin!
DeleteOkay, you asked for it...
DeleteQ: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road?
A: He had no guts!
Q: How do baby chickens dance?
A: Chick to chick!
Q: What day do chickens hate the most?
A: Fry-day!
Ha! This is so egg-citing, I could go on all night... I'm such a silly yolker! Hahahaha!
(Remember, you asked for it! Hee hee!)
Oooh so generous! Love the zines.
ReplyDeleterainbowelbows@yahoo.com
My joke:
What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff.
It's an anti-joke!
what's brown and sticky?
Deletea stick.
I adore zines and would love to enter the drawing -- but I never win anything....well, you never know...
ReplyDeletePamela.Gerard@gmail.com
I am still trying to think of a joke...pathetic...but I never tell them....
oh come on, Pamela. you can do it...
Deletethere must be some good mail carrier jokes out there...
DeleteDid you hear the one about the unstamped letter?
DeleteYou wouldn't get it.
45 cents is a really great price to mail a letter.
Delete30 cents for postage and 15 cents for storage.
OK, I did it. I really want your zine.
DeleteOk. Have you heard the one about the two veterans? Two veterans are walking on opposite sides of the same street. They're both dragging their leg. The one veteran on one side motions to the other veteran, pointing to his leg says" World War 11 injury."
ReplyDeleteThe veteran on the other side, shakes his head,and continues to really drag his leg, points down to his leg and says," Dog poop two blocks back."
ha ha ha ha ha
jo
searosebeach@yahoo.com
that's awesome - I've never heard that one.
Deletesunshinegirl505@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteWhat is a similarity between an elephant and a plum?
-They are both purple, except for the plum.
Yeah, the first time I heard it, I thought it was hilarious... Now I'm not quite sure why XD
I learned that joke as a series of four:
DeleteQ: what's the difference between an elephant and a plum?
A: they're both purple except the elephant.
Q: what did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "here come the elephants"
Q: what did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on?
A: nothing, he didn't recognize them
Q: what did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "here come the plums" (she was colorblind)
hahahahahahaha
hehe brilliant what a wonderful giveaway see u with coffee each morning on my google reader ok heres my joke , sorry its at out expense ladies lol
ReplyDeletePastor's false teeth
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.
The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight
minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following
Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from
the pulpit and they
asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so
bad he couldn't
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his
gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third
Sunday, he put his
wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
My kids make up jokes. Some of them are...confusing. But I always liked this one, about dinosaurs, that my middle made up when he was about 4: What is a carnivore's favorite game? Taste the herbivore.
ReplyDeleteI see the whole scene in my head, like a Gary Larson cartoon...
What did the snail say when he caught a ride on the back of a turtle?
ReplyDeleteWEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
silver2urquoise@yahoo.com
First off, I think it's rocking that you are in Tammy's zine!!!!! So that is GREAT! But tell a joke? I am not from a joke telling tradition. I am from a story telling tradition. And the funniest part of my day was watching a movie this evening with two enthusiastic 8-year old boys who dive bombed a pile of cushions every time a "romantic" or "heartwarming" moment came on (we watched "We bought a Zoo", and the look on their face when the word "Popcorn?" was uttered. But sadly, that is not a joke. That is just the delight of the day. So, even if I'm not a runner up, I still say, CONGRADS! and good work!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giveaway! I love gelatin prints!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLove the circles on your backgroun (I am currently into circles...) and would love to win the zine, or a copy of your zine. Sorry, but the only jokes I know are not publishable, but VERY FUNNY, does that qualify???
ReplyDeleteOh, oh, oh -- MEEEEEEEEE, pleeeeeezzzzzz!
ReplyDeleteHere's my joke: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Ready?
It's really corny...
Because...
7 8 9.
Get it?
7 ate 9.
I TOLD you it was corny...
I like magazines!
ReplyDeleteAnd I like jokes!
Q: Where do rabbits buy groceries?
A: Stop-n-Hop
Q: What music do rabbits listen to the most?
A: Hip-Hop
Q: Where do rabbits like to eat?
A: IHOP
And to go w/the blue fluff/brown stick anti-jokes, here's this one:
Q: What's red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint. :-)
lynntx12@yahoo.com
Knock knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub! I'm drwowning!
Emilie
jouaient AT gmail.com
Yay for creative zines!
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock.
Who's there?
Juicy!
Juicy who?
Juicy what I just saw!
I am so IN! I just asked my family at large for a joke, and my 3 year old told me this: "What if I love you and you turn into a mean blue jay? Answer: You come into a hole and go into daddy's foot!" (Yeah, I have no idea what that means, either!)
ReplyDeleteHere's a silly one I thought of this morning as I made the girls their lunch: "What do you call a small green furry fruit? Answer: A pee wee kiwi!" (Yeah, not much better!)
And from my husband: "What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk? Answer: Hamburger!"
So there you have it: a family affair! :-)
Oh, and my email is aleakaskey@yahoo.com. Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteWell i was going to say i just don't tell jokes but i do like elephant jokes....
ReplyDeleteWhy did the elephant paint his toenails different colors?
So he could hide in a jelly bean jar!
Have you ever seen an elephant in a jelly bean jar?
Works doesn't it?
I used to laugh out loud at that, still makes me smile, Maybe i should paint that someday!
Rushmore! I didn't know you were a zine maker!! I would love to be entered into a drawing for one of your zines so here is my joke:
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a guy all twisted up so he fits in a frame?
Art.
xx tj
PS - I'm proud to be in Tammy's zine with you!
Found your through Quinn McDonald's blog. Would love to win one of your great giveaways. I am at bkisrael@gmail.com should I win any of them. Thanks~
ReplyDeleteNow for a joke to be entered into your runner up drawing.
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOH MIGOD!
ReplyDeleteME mememememememememememe
me!
me?
me! please!
memememememememe
i REALLY WANT TO WIN.
ME!!!!!!
let me win!!!!!!
memememememe!!!!!
Okay...here goes...
ReplyDeleteQ: What do you call a smurf with his pants pulled down??
A: A blue moon :)
Now, wasn't that the funniest thing you've heard all day???
scrapweasel@yahoo.com
Thanks for hosting this giveaway - love love love little zines!
ReplyDeleteHere's my joke (heard on a local radio station's "clean joke" contest):
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny! :)
what an ♥AWESOME♥ giveaway, is it terribly rude/immature to hope I WIN??!?!?! :)
ReplyDeletehere's my joke, it's been a favorite since i heard it from my 8th grade science teacher, though NO ONE ELSE has ever found it funny, not even my husband, but luckily he married me anyway:
if it wasn't for venetian blinds... (dramatic pause) ...it'd be *CURTAINS* for everyone!
A. Knock knock.
ReplyDeleteB. Who's there?
A. Impatient cow.
B. Impatie-
A. Moo.
I'd love to win a zine. Have enjoyed reading all the jokes. My humor tends towards the Steven Wright end of the spectrum:
ReplyDelete"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering."
Describes me well. But is it a joke? In case that doesn't count:
Why do firemen have dogs as mascots?
To find the fire hydrants, of course.
cooper@swva.net
I would love to win all of the zines and is great that you and others are offering them......
ReplyDeleteas far as jokes are...... does it count if I read them all and laughed.....
thanks
hartofhearts1016@gmail.com
would love to win the zines...who wouldn't!?
ReplyDeletedbcarey_2000@yahoo.com
and having a great time reading these jokes!
Q:Why did the elephant wear green tennis shoes?
A: So he could tiptoe across the pool table without being seen!
I come from a family who never STOPS telling silly jokes. But all I can think of this morning is:
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
(no idea, get it?)
Had a laugh reading all the other jokes. Sign me up... pleeze.
Loving your bad puns cards.
shit. we have to leave a joke to win?
ReplyDeletei came back over to tell you i still want to win dammit.
but i don't have any jokes in me right now man.
wait. yes i do.
so this girl takes her old dad to the doctor.
the nurse is all, 'hello mister so and so. i need you to give me a stool sample, a blood sample, and a urine sample'
the mister so and so says, 'WHAT?' (because he can't hear, that's why)
and the nurse says, 'i NEED A BLOOD SAMPLE, A STOOL SAMPLE AND A URINE SAMPLE'
and the old mister so and so says, 'HUHH?'
and his daughter says,
'they need your underwear dad'
xxa