Canvas Phobia

Canvas makes me anxious.  It feels so permanent.  It feels so expensive.  

It feels so REAL.  

If I commit something to canvas and hate it, I've wasted the canvas.

But if I put it on canvas and love it - then what?  Heaven knows I'm not going to sell it.  And there's only so much room on my walls (and in my closets).  Perhaps the real fear is that by committing to canvas I'm  making a statement that I value my work and think it's good.  And we all know what a horrible thing THAT would be to believe about ourselves.  

I know this is just Phyllis talking.  Have you met Phyllis yet?  She lives in my head.  She is the insecure, critical tormenter of my soul, and the seamstress of my crazy pants.  She says the most absurd things.  Things I know are false.  Still, I've been listening to her for about 44 years now and she's very persuasive.

ANYWAY.

I've been slowly putting down layers on a new canvas board and here's what's going on so far:

8"x10"

I wanted lots of texture.  It's got layers of tissue paper at the base level, and some circles carved into modeling paste, and this honeycomb texture on top.  (I found this home decor paint called "texture magic" at job lots for about a buck a tube)

I'm not sure where it's going, but I'm taking it slow.  One layer at a time.  Trying to stay focused and keep Phyllis out of the room.

So then, to quell my canvas anxiety and just have lots of good messy fun, I cranked out a stack of index cards.  It's a good, safe, cheap, comfortable way to play around with ideas and materials.

These all use tissue paper for texture, and a mix of acrylics and oil pastels.  One uses string, though I think I'd classify that as "embellishment" rather than texture.  Another has pieces of the paint-soaked baby wipe I was using to clean my hands and brushes.

 

   

 

 

I like the way they are turning out.  And I'm not as plagued by the "now what" question because heck, they're just index cards!  stick them in a box, turn them into a post card.  recycle them.  whatever.  Phyllis and I don't care.

I almost didn't link up to Paint Party Friday this week because I feel so guilty when I can't visit all the other great artists who are playing along.  It's like a full time job! (which would be great if I didn't already have a full time job).    I've been chugging along on last week's link and managed to visit and comment on about 60 of the 80 participants.  I'd like to think I'll get to the rest, but by posting this I've just committed myself to the next 80 links of loveliness from this amazing talent pool.

But I'm linking after all, because this is such a great group  I'm a comments junkie.   I read and treasure each and every one of your comments.  I learn so much from visiting your sites and following the discussions.  Knowing the time commitment it takes to sift through all the posts makes me appreciate your comments even more.    Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, and Happy Paint Party Friday to you all!